We have been swinging on and off (mostly on) for about the last eight years, but we were certainly clueless in the beginning.  Lately, with some of the things we're dealing with, we're not so sure we  know now.

We say all of this because we've been reviewing our history in the lifestyle.  It's been a gradual increase in interest, activity and relationships.

We started out as "soft-swap" swingers in 2001.  I was always into women, so Mr. Intimate and I started with the Yahoo databases (members lists) and searched for local bisexual women.  That wasn't very fruitful, so we added a profile on a bisexual women's site, and were rewarded with one of the greatest friends (although she's no longer a lifestyler) we've ever had.  She was my girlfriend, and I can't begin to tell you how much she means to me still.  After a rough break up of our sexual relationship, we eventually rekindled our friendship and are now very close, even if we're not sexually active.

Mr. Intimate was never involved.  She was my girlfriend, and we had a lovely relationship, but we were both very young.  She helped me understand that I could love more than one person, and consequently opened my eyes to the possibilities of a sexual relationship in the lifestyle.

At the time, I was working at a local country bar as a waitress.  Mr. I would quip "Bring something fun home," when I would leave.  I didn't know how serious he was, but I was kind of looking around, and seeing what was out there.

I ran into a girl that was clearly into me.  I can tell you that her little red-headed sexy ass was also very interesting to me, too.  So, after a night of flirting, I nervously decided to ask Amanda back to our house to surprise my husband.  She anxiously agreed, and so, I took her hot body to the house.  She only met Mr. I, but we all had an instant connection.  So, the next time she was out at the club, we made a date to return to our abode, wake up Mr. I and have our way with him.

This was my first experience as a "full swap" swinger with another woman.  It was possibly the hottest thing I had seen to that point, because I got to ravage her, and while I did that, Mr. I gave her red headed self a workout!  It finished with both of us coming so much, and Mr. I leaving his load on my back.  Amanda wanted more, but we were still trying to get used to this whole idea of "swinging" that we opted for one another's attention the rest of the night, and Amanda left for her own home.

But our swinging didn't really make a turn sexually until Mr. Intimate got me to open up and discuss my fantasies.  I hadn't tried to put any of my fantasies into words, so this was difficult.  But through his discussion of wanting to see me with others, I soon began to want to try being with other couples and do new things with him, too.

So, to my surprise, Mr. Intimate arranged a single male to come out and play.  I was thrilled, but also not quite sure how to handle the situation.  I wasn't able to enjoy the experience as much as I would have now, because I was worried about how my husband was feeling, and whether or not he was thinking that he was being left out, or not getting enough attention.  The first time sucked.  For many reasons, it just didn't go well.  None of which were any worse than the fact that this dude just didn't get it that he was invited, not entitled.  Mr. I and I couldn't get rid of his dumb butt for quite some time.  My husband and I learned a great lesson on that experience.

So, 8 years and lots of fun later, we've opened up our discussions to allow for mutual understanding of each others desires, learned how to be a little more selective in our play partners, and then found out that we probably enjoy the social aspects of swinging more than the sex.

So, now we're wondering if we really want to swing, or just want people that we know can handle our personalities to be friends.  We've got lots of GREAT friends in the lifestyle, and wouldn't trade their companionship for anything!  We've had the chance to travel and meet new people, see some sexy stuff and enjoy the open communication with one another.  We apparently do it so well, that many of our VaNilla friends "want what we have".  It is all we can do not to just tell them, "well, start swinging, follow the rules, love one another and you will have what we have."

There have definitely been some rough spots in our swing lifestyle, but our communication and love for one another makes it all worthwhile. We know that at the end of the night, if we don't land a fun new friend or seven, then we can go home, drive each other nuts, and live the next day knowing there will be other chances.

We've enjoyed our eight years of swinging.  Mr. Intimate and I have learned a lot, grow much together and look forward to the next 10 years of our marriage!  How many VaNilla's understand that in their lives?  Not many.

Coming Soon:  Mr. Intimate's perspective on making the "Connections" in the lifestyle!